Bullying: Who's Responsible?

9th August 2003

It is sad that bullying only seems to warrant media attention when it ends in unspeakable tragedy and the loss of a child’s life. The fact is that bullying goes on every single day. For this problem to begin to be addressed we must have the courage to accept that there is bullying in almost every UK school. Bullying is endemic and to claim otherwise is to continue to allow bully’s free reign to cause untold psychological damage to their victims.

Bullying revolves around cycles of learned behavior. Both bullies and victims are playing a role in a very destructive game. To blow the whistle on the games being played at schools all over the UK there must be a more effective two way process in schools. I believe that the majority of bullying goes unreported and on each occasion the bully escapes without reprimand his or her behavior is reinforced. This has massive implications for society as a whole as a study by acknowledged world expert on bullying Professor Dan Olweus, revealed that children who bullied at age twelve were three rimes more likely to have criminal convictions at age 24 and four times more likely to be multiple offenders.

Schools and parents constitute the first part of the process in that they must provide an environment where bullying is openly discussed, a place where children feel safe in disclosing a bullying problem and confident that help will be given. For habitual victims of bullying (I was one myself) admitting that they are being bullied will be an enormously frightening prospect.

A situation must develop where everybody in a position to help is proactive rather than reactive. It must become second nature to schoolchildren that their teachers WANT to know of any incidents of bullying straight away and want to deal with it in as early a stage as possible. The responsibility for combating bullying however does by no means rest only upon the shoulders of adults. The schoolchildren themselves have a responsibility as parents are not present in schools and bullies are careful to carry out their behavior away from the teachers. Children in the school community as a whole must also take responsibility to avoid standing idly by as they watch a bullying incident or worse still becoming actively involved in a crowd that gives the bully approval and validates their behavior.

The fact is that the victims of bullies need a great deal of help. No blame should be placed upon the victim; being bullied is in no way their fault. But as the situation has developed they have been unable to stop the bullying and have adapted body language and behavior of a victim that allows the abuse to continue and the bullying to thrive.
This can have a massively negative impact upon a child, if the ‘Victim State’ remains a part of their persona they will face being bullied throughout the rest of their lives. So once the bullying problem has been acknowledged and disclosed the victim has a responsibility to self-help. But they must be given the information necessary to do this. The oft repeated commands of ‘just stand up for yourself’ or ‘you need to learn to fight your own battles’ must become a thing of the past and recognized for what they are -lazy advice. People with a deep knowledge and experience of the problem if invited into schools can equip victims with the skills they need to communicate to the bully that they will no longer allow themselves to be victimized.

The bullying problem can be solved in our schools if we spend more time focusing on solutions and combating the root causes of the problem. When both adults and children accept their individual responsibility schools will take a huge step towards being better attended, better funded and more prosperous. The outcome will be greater learning for all, children, parents and teachers alike.