...Return Back To Articles Page

I Was Wrong

Rob Higgs

I can still hear the smack of knuckle on bone, the words spat at me like bullets, the air crackling with aggression, the bully spitting and snarling, performing for the crowd, the desire for acceptance and pain of approval witheld. These are my memories from school.

I was first bullied aged five by a gang of boys at infant school. They would daily threaten, abuse and control me. As I grew up bullying followed me from school to school. Their words became my thoughts. I learned to bully myself. I withdrew from everyone. Each day became a test of endurance. Each person became a threat. There was no answer. Telling someone would only make it worse. They were right - I was useless. Worthless. I deserved it. I was better off dead. The bullying would never stop.

I was wrong.

I did make it stop. But only once I understood the problem: The techniques bullies use, the mindset of the bullied, the mentality you must develop, the skills you must practice to leave both the 'victim state' and bullying behind.

Bullying is repetitive, ugly and frightening. I still remember how it felt.

My work is in helping bullied children build their confidence, help bullies to change their behaviour, and help children who stand passively by to make a stand.

Bullying is an ugly trait of human nature, it is learned behaviour. But people can change.

Robert Higgs.